Book: The Dangerous Art of Blending In
Author: Angelo Surmelis
Publication: January 30th, 2018
Rating: 3,5 stars
I started listening to the audiobook and didn’t realize until I was a quarter into the book that I had actually read it 1,5 years ago. But I decided to finish it since I couldn’t remember how the book ended.
The last time I gave it 3 stars, but I think that now I lean more toward 3,5 stars.
Synopsis
This is a story about Evan, who is starting his senior year of high school. He comes from a religious Greek family where his mother torments him with physical and emotional abuse whereas his father pretty much just turns a blind eye and only gets involved when things get truly out of hand. Evan went to Bible camp during the summer where he kissed another boy for the first time in his life. Now that school is starting and he meets up with his best friend, Henry, again, he realizes that he is actually very much attracted to him. While Evan is conflicted about his new-found feelings towards Henry, it turns out Henry himself might actually be interested in Evan as well. Evan is trying to keep all of the different aspects of his life separate from each other in order to try to stay safe in his own home. However, the time has come for him to figure out if it’s truly worth keeping the status quo or if he should learn how to stand up for himself.
My thoughts (lots of spoilers ahead)
It’s a sad sad story where I had tears in my eyes for most of the book. I was also extremely frustrated and angry pretty much the whole time. I just couldn’t believe the adults in this book. It’s one thing to have a character like Evan’s mom, who is portrayed as a bad person, who yes, may have some trauma in her life that explains some of her behavior, but ultimately doesn’t seem to be able to come around and redeem herself. But to have characters like Evan’s dad, the pastor, the doctor and the principal who are all people who you should be able to turn to and trust them to do the right thing...and then they just don’t..like, wtf?!
The adults in this story really dropped the ball. And I feel like this is the one aspect where I was actually taken out of this story. I didn’t think it wasn’t that believable that they ALL could be so incompetent that during Evan’s lifetime not one adult had ever tried to help him. Evan’s dad was a pushover and even though he clearly loved his son, he was pretty much allowing the abuse to happen by wanting to avoid conflict with his wife. The pastor was given a detailed account of the abuse Evan’s mom was doling out, yet he just thought that things would get better by praying the gay away. The doctor clearly saw that Evan had suffered from years of physical abuse, yet he DID NOT call child protective services. Instead, he talked to the abuser and made her suspicious which led to even more abuse. The principal was the only one who didn’t fail so miserably. Sure he looked at the video evidence of the fight and told Evan that he would always have a safe place at school. Yet, he also NEVER realized that he was being abused despite seeing his various bumps and bruises during the previous years.
It’s almost like none of these adults had ever even heard of how to spot abusive behavior and what to do if someone exhibits signs of suffering from abuse (call CPS, for crying out loud). I just didn’t find it plausible that no one would’ve done anything during all that time.
Anyways, otherwise the story was touching and really got me in the feels. Evan portrayed really well the conflict of forgiving your abuser, wanting to please them, blaming yourself for the abuse, feeling angry at the abuser and wanting to get away. I feel like Evan got to a pretty good place regarding his family in the end with little help from the adults around him, especially considering his age and all the other stuff going on in his life.
TW: suicidal thoughts, emotional and physical abuse, homophobia
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